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Movie Review: Lucy

August 6, 2014 2 comments

If you value your sanity, and if you value reason, science, and logic, for the love of gostack (may gostack ever distim the doshes) avoid this movie.

At all costs.

I really tried to summon the energy to write a point-by-point tear-down of the movie and why it is the worst comedy-masquerading-as-serious-sci-fi film ever made, but the total cost in terms of entropy created by such action was universe-devouring in scope.

Let’s leave it at this: it mangles science, philosophy, sense, and does so at the expense of coherency and enjoyability. There wasn’t a time when I wasn’t facepalming epically during the 90-minute assault on my neurons. When, near the end, Lucy, named–ha ha–in a rather transparent reference to the australopithecus afarensis, gives a bizarre speech about the non-existence of numbers and some nonsense about time, I reached such divide-by-zero levels of fury that I had to consciously stop myself from throwing my shoe at the screen in the theater.

As the credits started to role, and I began to ponder the ending lines, “Now you know what to do with it,” I realized that the proper reaction to this movie is not seething rage, but laughter.

See, the movie is a practical joke, played on all of us.

Damn you, Luc Besson, King of Practical Jokes.